Strong
by Songs-of-the-River
Summary: After Benedict Lightwood's death, Gabriel reflects on some of the lessons his father taught him.


His mother was dead. His father was dead. His brother had abandoned the family. His sister was building a new life with her husband.

Gabriel was alone.

_So young to have so much responsibility._

He knew what the whisperers were saying. After Gideon had been disowned by their father, Gabriel had become Benedict's heir. And now that the man was dead, Gabriel was in charge of the Lightwood fortune, estate, and Council seat. He was barely nineteen.

Sitting in a chair that he owned, in front of a fire that was tended by a maid he hired and paid, Gabriel reflected on all the events leading up to his current situation. It started with the night Gideon left.

For a moment, Gabriel had been sorely tempted to go with his brother. Running away from their family's troubles would have been so much easier than staying behind to deal with it. But then he'd seen the desperation in his father's face, and Gabriel knew that no matter how many times he had been lied to, or how badly the truth had shaken him, he could not leave Benedict to face the consequences alone. No matter how angry he was at his father, he could not abandon him. Gideon, however, had had no such qualms. He'd run off to the Institute without looking back, and Gabriel had hardly seen him since.

Gabriel had been left alone to deal with his father's lies and imminent death, but he didn't cry.

Then came the day when Benedict Lightwood never woke up. The demon pox had been getting worse for months and Gabriel had known that the end was near, but even then, nothing could have prepared him for it. To say it was a shock would be an understatement.

Gabriel had been left alone to arrange his father's funeral, but he didn't cry.

The funeral itself was a highly unpleasant affair. Gabriel had watched as they burned his father's body and placed the ashes in a tomb with the remains of all the past Lightwoods. Most of the Enclave was in attendance. They offered Gabriel murmured condolences that he knew they didn't mean. He wondered, out of all the people who were there, how many of them were actually sad that his father was gone. Gideon was there with the rest of the Shadowhunters from the London Institute. Gabriel didn't speak to him.

Gabriel had been left alone to mourn by his father's grave, but he didn't cry.

Soon after the funeral, Gabriel had seen a lawyer to sort out all the legal proceedings. It was fairly simple: Gideon had renounced the Lightwood family name, leaving Gabriel as Benedict Lightwood's only son and, as such, the heir to everything Benedict possessed. Gabriel had never really wanted money or power of his own, but he found himself with it anyway.

Gabriel had been left alone to run an estate that was too big for one person to live in, but he didn't cry.

As he sat by the fire, Gabriel remembered one of the many lessons his father had taught him. _You must never cry. Tears are a sign of weakness. Do you want to be weak, Gabriel?_

At the time, Gabriel had earnestly said that no, he didn't want to be weak. He came to believe that to shed tears was to be weak, simply because it was his father who said it and his father was always right about everything.

This memory caused another of his father's lessons to come to mind. Benedict Lightwood had always believed that trust and naivety were one and the same. He'd encouraged his sons to be independent, to never lean on anyone for help. _People will always betray you,_ he'd said. _Don't put yourself in a position to let them._

Well, Gabriel had certainly followed his father's advice. And where was he now? Alone inside a cold, empty house, and there was no one left in the world who cared about him.

For the first time since he was a little boy, Gabriel put his head in his hands and allowed tears to run down his face. He didn't care what his father would say; Benedict was no longer there to advise him. And if loneliness was strength, he didn't want to be strong anymore.

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**So this is very short and fairly pointless, but it was just something that popped into my head. Reviews are welcome :) I don't own the Infernal Devices or any of the characters.**


End file.
